Saturday, January 30, 2010

Albert Goes On a Trek and Invades Laos and Cambodia

Ok, time for a super-mega catch up post. What have I been doing, you ask? (You did ask, didn't you? I'm not making that up?)

Well let me tell you.
In Chiang Mai, Thailand, I took some cooking classes. This is me with some Pad Thai I made. Yummy! Funny enough, this was the first day of my trip I had a tummy ache, and I had only eaten things I made myself. I was pretty heavy on the spice. Click for more.
Then I went on a trek through beautiful Northern Thailand with an international group of ten. Click for more.
The first night we spent in a Karen tribe village. That's Anders there, enjoying the green tea and banana leaf cigarette he's been given. Click for more.
Then we hitched a ride on some bamboo rafts back towards home. They assembled these things the morning we left. I was put in the back to steer because I'm a strong man. Click for more.
Then it was across the Mekong River to Laos! Click for more.
I took a two day boat ride down the Mekong to Luang Prabang, which was a beautiful trip. A few times kids from the villages came out to say hello. Click for more.
Near Luang Prabang is a little village that makes money brewing lao lao, a whiskey made from fermented rice. Click for more.
That's some good hooch. Click for more.
Kept moving south, to Vang Vieng, which has some beautiful scenery. Click for more.
Vang Vieng has dozens of caves to explore. I met an Irish girl named Christine and we got into a couple really good ones. This one had stretches that we had to swim through to go on. We went about an hour in before deciding we should turn around if we wanted to get home before dark. Click for more.
The next day, Christine and I went kayaking down the Nam Xong. Click for more.
Vang Vieng is notorious for its "tubing," which involves little tubing and lots of drinking. It's feels very much like MTV Spring Break. Big dangerous rope swings and a waterslide. That's me in the upper left of this picture, midmaneuver high above the water. I'm like freaking Spider-Man. Click for more.
Spent an evening drinking with some friendly Laos. That's Christine, and James from Australia who just showed up in town minutes before this photo. He's the best Australian I've ever met. Click for more.
Then I kept moving south, going part of the way in a local "bus". These things are packed, and what you see here is us making a quick stop and these veggie hawkers thrusting their wares into the car looking for buyers. Click for more.
You're encouraged not to pee on the beautiful views along the roads. (Sorry, no more like this...)
After going by Champasak, where the pretty cool temple Wat Phou is, I made it to the beautiful island of Don Det, in Si Phan Don (The 4,000 Islands). Click for more.

Rented a dirty little bungalow for about $1.25, and relaxed for days. This was my favorite stop in Southeast Asia. Click for more.
One day I swam out among the islands and wore myself out so's I didn't feel too much like swimming back. I flagged down this boat of Lao children and they were happy to give me a ride back to Don Det. Click for more.
The next day I went garbage collecting in the Mekong around Don Det. The Lao people thought this was hilarious. Click for more.
Then I was in Cambodia, the land of gas stations that fill your tank from whiskey bottles. Click for more.
I met this South Korean girl Sumi on the bus into Siam Reap and this is us getting some squid on the waterfront before we go for a swim. Click for more.
My first night in Cambodia, I went to see the sunset at Angkor Wat with a gang of lovely ladies. That's Anne from Sweden, Sumi again, and Anke (pronounced almost just like Angkor) from Germany. Click for more.
Woke up early to catch the sunrise from Phnom Bakheng, Angkor. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a HANDS FREE HEADSTAND. They said it couldn't be done. Click for more.
The temples at Angkor are ridiculously cool. Really good condition, really good design, really Indiana Jones. Moreso even than Petra, which was actually in an Indiana Jones movie. This is Bayon. Click for more.
Some monks at Bayon. I'm always hesitant to stick a camera in locals' faces, but monks are so damn photogenic so a common tactic of mine is to let them pass and then spin around real fast to get a picture of their backs. This time, it appears I was caught.
That's Sumi and me at Ta Phrom, one of the Angkor temples. I think this door was in the movie Tomb Raider. Our tuk tuk driver had this awesome wig, which I ended up wearing around all day. The Cambodians loved it. Click for more.
There are little kids everywhere trying to sell things to tourists. But they aren't annoying, they're really really fun. Super smart, savvy kids who love to joke and have a good time. Here I'm negotiating a price for a little wooden mouth instrument. I paid 2000 riel ($0.50), which I knew was too much, but I didn't realize HOW too much until I told another kid I got it for 200 riel ($0.05) and he offered me another at the same price. D'oh! Click for more.
I got a little turned around at Angkor. Hah! Click for more.Celebrated my Cambodian good times with a whiskey bucket. Click for more.

At about 6:00am after a few of these, I realized I might not have taken the days of the week into account when planning my Indian visa retrieval. Sure enough, it was Thursday, the Indian consulate in Thailand closes for the weekend at noon on Friday, and my flight to India leaves from Bangkok at 9:00am on Monday. I had 28 hours to get from Siam Reap, Cambodia, to Chiang Mai, Thailand. That's a long way, look at a map. So I got an hour's rest, rode on the back of a motorbike drunk as a skunk to catch an 8:00am bus, crossed the border, hopped on a cramped minibus with broken A/C that made my slimy whiskey sweats all the more unpleasant, got into Bangkok at 6:00pm, ran to a 7:35pm night train to Chiang Mai, had a nice sleep, got into Chiang Mai on Friday at 12:10pm...

ULP

ran outside, negotiated a fair tuk tuk price, got to the consulate at 12:20 after a couple of wrong turns, waved my visa receipt through the bars at the Indian guard ("Yes, come in, come in") and was very sweet to the grumpy Thai woman behind the counter that kept reminding me they were closed. But I got my visa, and tomorrow I'm in India!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Video Vault: All Turkeys Go to Heaven

I've been in Lao for about a week now, but rather than spend the time necessary to type out some of my adventures from this wonderful country (I'll have time soon enough), all I can give you for the moment is a video from Israel. This the turkey we pulled out of its pen and slaughtered so we could celebrate a proper Thanksgiving on the farm. I call the video

All Turkeys Go to Heaven

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

So About Those Ladyboys...

A lot of people (mostly concerned family) have asked me what exactly happens at a ladyboy show. Well, here is the answer, snippets from two numbers:


Calypso Cabaret, where the boys and boys and the ladies are boys.

Monday, January 4, 2010

My Cheapest Accommodations Yet


$2.50 in Chiang Mai! The bathroom is shared, right outside, and someone might move into that other bed, but... $2.50!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Looking for Andrew in Prison

This is a story that is from those wonderful carefree days when Andrew was here with me in Thailand. One day, we resolved that he would spend the morning painting graffiti and I would wander around, and we'd meet up at his spot at 11:30am. So I left him:
At 11:15 I showed up and saw this:
But no Andrew! What would cause my good friend to abandon a piece halfway through? I thought for sure he had been spotted by the police or at least run off by some locals. I waited until 11:31 but thought he had bolted and didn't want to return to the scene of the crime, returning instead to where we were staying, which is where we had agreed to meet in case we missed each other at the spot.

So I went back to where we were staying and he wasn't there, and I thought for sure he had been arrested. I saw his parents and Andrew's mom asked "Did you lose my son?" and I laughed nervously and replied "Nno!" I chatted with them for a bit, the whole time thinking furiously how this could really ruin the trip for everyone, and they left. I had a feeling that if I sat around and did nothing Andrew would show up eventually, but I also had a terrible vision of him not returning and me having to explain to his parents why I hadn't told them anything sooner or done anything all day when I knew he was missing. In my head, I literally repeated the words: "This is an adult situation. You are an adult. You will deal with this situation AS AN ADULT." I ran and grabbed a map of Bangkok, pinpointed the closest police station to where Andrew was painting, hopped in a tuk tuk and told the driver to take me there:

"Why do you want to go there?"
"I'm looking for my friend."
"Your friend a policeman?"
"No."
"...Oh."

We zipped off, and when I told the driver I thought my friend had been arrested for graffiti, he told me he was pretty sure they don't arrest people for that. Maybe, I thought, but who knows what Andrew was painting on. The wall he chose was mysteriously bare of graffiti in a part of town that was pretty well covered, so I thought it might have been on the backend of an important landmark or something.

We arrived at the police station and the tuk tuk driver acted as interpreter. The police didn't look like they had much going on, they were very unhurried and weren't at all dismissive of me, in fact they seemed to enjoy the conversation. The police told me that they do not in fact arrest people for graffiti, but continued wanting to talk anyway about the wheres and the whats and things:

"Like this?" [pointing at a small tag nearby]
"No, more like that." [pointing at a larger piece across the street]
[Policeman nods his head appreciatively] "No arrest."

They gave me a Thai donut and told me if he hadn't shown up after 24 hours to come back. I was pretty nervous still, but when I got back to where we were staying THERE WAS ANDREW! I kicked a shoe at him, and was both a little angry and happy to see him.

So what happened?

Turns out Andrew went to go get some water at 11:14 and returned at 11:33. He waited around for me until 12:20, thought I got lost but that I'd sort it out, then left a "BRB" message on the wall while he went to get more paint. When he returned and I still wasn't there he got more worried, updated his note and went back to the hotel:
He took a shower, and as he was getting out I walked in and kicked a shoe at him. He got a little angry but was happy to see me.

The finished piece, with a couple of additional throwups he did while waiting for me:

Friday, January 1, 2010

New Year's Eve in Bangkok

The night began at Sanamluang, The Royal Field that leads to the Grand Palace in downtown Bangkok. Locals were out in force, with pop up festivities like bumper cars:

...and a raffle being decided by the whims of a rat:

5 baht (about $0.15) got you a number, and if the rat ran into the hole with that number on it you won! I didn't. I headed back to Banglamphu, where all the backpackers hang out, to countdown with my fellow whiteys:

But there was no countdown! Except for "The Final Countdown." Which, honestly, almost makes up for it. Though I didn't realize it at the time, I apparently drank more than I should have, because I wasn't feeling so hot the next day:

Happy New Year!