Video Vault: It's Going Right Over Us

Tel Aviv, Israel

I'm in Udaipur, India with Jess Lewis at the moment. We're having a series of excellent days, I'll provide a full report once I get some internet that's decent.

Video Vault: All Turkeys Go to Heaven

I've been in Lao for about a week now, but rather than spend the time necessary to type out some of my adventures from this wonderful country (I'll have time soon enough), all I can give you for the moment is a video from Israel. This the turkey we pulled out of its pen and slaughtered so we could celebrate a proper Thanksgiving on the farm. I call the video

All Turkeys Go to Heaven

Puppies Nursing Are the Cutest Thing

From my time on the goat farm in Israel.

Some puppies nursing. Set cute guns to stun.

Video: Goats On Parade

From my time in Israel. Every day after milking and feeding, we let the goats go wandering in the hills, accompanied by a few good dogs. They would wander around and come back by the time the sun went down. There were about 220, and when some wouldn't return we'd have to go out looking for them. Some of them have bells on their necks for herd location purposes. Apparently, part of the way they find their way home is by the wind coming up through the valley. They know if they're walking into the wind, they're headed home. So if it was a particularly chaotic day windwise, they would get scattered and we'd have to send out some searchers.

What I've Been Doing for 42 Days

So, it's been a while since I posted here. To blame: having a really great time in places where internet access was a rare and fleeting treat. But now I'm in Bangkok, where they shower tourists in liquid cyberspace for pennies. So, let's catch up.
Went to Jordan! First stop, Wadi Ram, a valley that Jordan sees as it's answer to the Grand Canyon. Spectacular. No Grand Canyon, mind you, but spectacular. We made arrangements with a Bedouin who called himself Desert Wolf over the 'net to camp out in the middle of the desert. He drove us out and dropped us off...
The next day we went hiking. The whole place was sandstone, which was really grippy and made for some excellent bouldering/climbing. There were a few spots where I thought we'd gotten ourselves stuck, but we always found a way out. Expected to see Desert Wolf that night. We didn't have any kindling to start a fire so we looked around for paper...and I realized I had a copy of Fahrenheit 451 with me. Sweet sweet irony. Anyway, Desert Wolf never came. Not that night, and not the next morning when he knew we needed to leave.
So we started the long hike out. About an hour or so in, we flagged down a passing Jeep that gave us a ride to the nearby village.
Spent most of the day chilling at "Ali's Place." That's Ali there on the left. Lots of tea, some tasty food, hooka smoke. We had missed the morning bus to Petra, so we had some time to kill and expressed to Ali an interest in a Jeep tour, but the asking price of the official guides was too much. So he found some young relative to drive his truck for us at a reasonable price, and off we went.
The muffler fell off pretty early into the tour. Nice guy, though, that driver. About an hour into the trip we realized we had met the night before, when I had helped repair a Bedouin tent in the dark. (Maya actually suspected it was him immediately, but I resisted)
That night Ali saw us drawing and asked us to draw something in his guest book. We left a drawing I had done of Maya sitting at Ali's Place earlier in the day. In the morning we caught a bus to Petra.
Petra! You may recognize this particular structure from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. Pssh. Back to Israel!
To a goat farm! With about 220 goats (we counted every day, but no one was actually sure what number we were aiming for), from which the farm produced...
Cheese!
It was a beautiful place, in the mountains of the Galilee, looking down at Nazareth through the valley.
It was run by Amnon (pictured here with live-in grandchildren Chumba and Ta'el)...
...and Dalia (pictured here with Maya).
I spent most of my time there making a stone pillar. I finished it once with a rounded top in an effort to be different from all the flat topped pillars around, but some people thought it looked too phallic (and maybe it did), so I had to circumcise it and refinish it. It's a sturdy pillar, with a hitching post for cows/horses.
There were a few Americans there, so we organized a Thanksgiving celebration and the locals indulged us, letting us butcher one of the turkeys they had on the farm. Cooked in sheep fat, it ended up tasting a lot like sheep. Green beans, mashed potaters, POMEGRANATE sauce, stuffing, pumpkin pie (not from a can, a first for me)... It was all there.

So I just arrived in Bangkok, and I'll be bumming around for a couple of days until the Kobayashi-Downs' get here and then it'll be a whirlwind of family fun. I'm looking forward to it, and I should be able to update this blog more regularly for a while. We'll see!

I leave you with... PUPPY CAGE MATCH!!!
As always, there are more adventures photographed at My Flickr Page.

Ten Best Photos of My Trip So Far

So I realize I have like a gillion photos on my Flickr and only two of you love me enough to browse through them (hi, Craig Durkin and Dad), so I'm going to make this easy for you. Here are the ten best photos of my trip so far, in no particular order: Theron (another volunteer at Sedot Mikha), La Pantera Negra ("I am verry dangeroos") and I enjoy dessert in a Jerusalem bookstore/cafe.

Maya was another volunteer at Sedot Mikha. Here she is reading at sunset at Qalya Beach on the Dead Sea, unaware that she'll ruin her eyes carrying on like that.

Marc (the guy whose museum project I was working on for six weeks at Sedot Mikha) swimming at Ashkelon.

Me and La Pantera Negra posing under the statue I built with Marc. The photo is being taken by Melanie, another volunteer from Germany. You can see her in some of the pictures on my Flickr page, but you wouldn't know anything about that, would you?

Ben at Ein Gedi Beach on the Dead Sea. His socks had gotten so gross after weeks of no washing that they would actually stand on end. You can not imagine the stench.

Ben took this one of me in Ein Gedi. So epic! Rarely do I look so statuesque.

In Gaudix, waiting for laundry to dry. There's a companion piece with Ben on my Flickr page, but really why start caring now?

This restaurant at the Alhambra in Granada had misting jets that would spray every minute or so. Made for some positively angelic lighting.

At the Alhambra. I forget the name of this particular structure, but I like this picture of it.

A dog in Spain! He was playing with another dog in this fountain (you can see pictures of that on my Fl... you know what, you wouldn't be interested) for quite a while. I think his silhouette here is really swell.

This Is What a Memory Looks Like

In the Dead Sea again.

I leave Moshav Sedot Mikha tomorrow. I`ve had a good run, made a lot of things, re-energized my creative side. Going to spend a couple of nights in Tel Aviv with friends, then I`m off to Jordan, maybe sleep out in the desert with a Bedouin... Then to Egypt. THEN.... Thailand!

Albert Gets All Indiana Jones

The day started out normally enough, with me sneaking into some place I wasn`t supposed to be. Little did I know what wonders were in store for me...

I stumbled upon an amazing, intricate system of caves. But what made these caves REALLY special is that they were dug by humans, not nature, over 2000 years ago. If you look closely at some of these pictures you can see the marks on the wall from their tools.

I found a small opening with a long winding staircase that went down, down, down into the dark...

...past a room from the mind of MC Escher...

And into a magnificent chamber where I discovered at least four priceless artifacts from another time.

More at my Flickr page.

The Completely Mundane Adventures of Albert Thrower, Chapter One: Wherein Our Hero Gives Himself a Haircut

NOLTE AND ALBERT: SEPARATED AT BIRTH?

"I NEED A HAIRCUT, BUT I HAVE NO CLIPPERS!"

"BE AT EASE, MY CHILD. TAKE THESE SCISSORS AND DO GOOD WORKS."

"GOD? I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN CUT MY OWN HAIR WITH SCISSORS..."

"...BUT I TRUST YOU! LET'S DO IT!"

...an hour and a half of cutting and taking pictures of the back of my head and cutting more...

OH NICE

"WHAT'S OVER THERE? A GOOD HAIRCUT?"

"HUH? THAT WAY TOO?"

Debrief: My father warned me not to try cutting my own hair. I usually take my father's advice, but I ignored him on this one, and the results ain't bad. Definitely some strange quirks to my hair now, it isn't cut like a pro would do it, but I'm pretty pleased with myself. I would post some pics of the back, but... Nobody wants to see that. I'm still working on that technique. Taking pictures of it, then feeling around for what I think are the bits I see sticking out... Maybe not the best way to do it.

Video: Coyote Hunting Practice

There's also something of an extended cut on YouTube. It's a bit more... abstract.

Come See a Sculpture I'm Making

Most of this week I've been helping Marc build a sculpture out of mud on the Western end of his property. Last week it was a base and a wooden frame. Now we've filled it with tires, rocks, and old construction waste and slapped many many pounds of mud on top (1 bucket dirt, 1 bucket sand, 1 bucket manure, some pinestraw, water, and a super secret ingredient) to make it the still-in-progress beauty it is today. It's tall--ten feet or more. The basic forms are done, Marc is going to spend some time on the faces and then that'll be that. I'll take some more pics when it's all done.

I also let slip that I was a filmmaker in a previous life, and I've been recruited to make a documentary of sorts for the place. I thought I didn't want to do this until the camera was in my hands and then I remembered what fun it is. Shooting a conversation happening in a language you don't understand is like deflecting a remote droid's lasers with your blast shield down.

Albo: "But in Hebrew, I can't even understand, how am I supposed to shoot?"
OWK: "Your ears can deceive you, don't trust them. Stretch out with your feelings."
[Albo calmly zooms and pans, capturing like three great decisive moments.]
Han: "I call it luck."

This is Your Brain On Shuffle, Pt. 2

The feature formally known as "Songs I've Found Myself Singing"

Without an iPod, the music is all in your head. Some songs, you bring to mind intentionally. But sometimes... Your subconcious takes control. These are songs that I have found myself singing aloud or in my head, without the faintest idea why.

Jens Lekman - Pocketful of Money (quickly amended to "Pocketful of Shekels")
Foo Fighters - Learn to Fly (I really don't like this song)
Soul Asylum - Runaway Train (Never comin' back...)
Francis Scott Key and John Stafford Smith - Star Spangled Banner
Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five - The Message (Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge...)
Spoon - Stay Don't Go
Lykke Li - Tonight
Blondie - One Way Or Another
Phish - The Wolfman's Brother (for some reason I was singing it as "Wolfman's Daughter")
Of Montreal - The Past is a Grotesque Animal
Bright Eyes - Everything Must Belong Somewhere
Wicked - Popular (quickly amended to "Secular"--worked out alright)

Where Do They Get These Wonderful Toys?

There is a playground in Tel Aviv full of cool stuff, and this structure is the highlight. After making this video I actually came up with a better way to do it, if height is your goal--standing in the middle and swinging from there can get you just about flush with the ropes.

What I Did Today

I rode a tortoise!

I willfully ignored signs I couldn't read! "Bor... Patu'akh... Sakhanah?" *SHRUG*

I thanked a shepherd for clearing the trail of his sheep!

I lounged happily underneath homemade arches!

I pretended I was Goliath on the very spot he once stood! "I do taunt the armies of Israel this day; give me a man, that we may fight together!"

I was like "Would you look at that view!"

More at my Flickr page.

Could I Kill a Coyote in (Relatively) Unarmed Combat?

Two nights in a row now I've encountered a coyote on my way from the main house to my little guest house. The first night I had my flashlight on me, walked outside, heard some rustling noises and flashed my light onto a coyote about 15ft away. He darted a few feet but then stopped and stared, his eyes bright in the light. He was afraid of me, but not as afraid as I would have liked. I made some menacing noises to no effect, then tossed a couple of stones in his direction which again made him retreat a little further but still he watched me as I connected the power to my cabin and went on my way. Last night, same thing happened, though I didn't have my flashlight with me so I was tossing the stones a little more aggressively. This got me to thinking--I feel like I'm a pretty accurate thrower (ahem), if a coyote decided to charge me and I beaned him right between the eyes (or on the temple or somesuch) with a decently sized stone do you think he would go down? I'm not a big fan of hunting, it seems like a very unbalanced fight what with modern human weaponry and all that. But me vs. a coyote in a field of stones seems pretty fair. As long as he doesn't call his buddies--if the nightly chorus is any indication, they are everywhere!

Maybe I'm just feeling inspired by the fact that I'm a short walk from where David took down Goliath...

Farming is Yard Work

I don't know why I didn't realize this before, it seems so obvious now. But it came to me as a was weeding a garden today. Farming is yard work. The same yard work I've avoided doing with my dad my entire life. And now I've dedicated the next almostyear of my life to it, because I feel like it has something to teach me. But it's something my dad's been trying to teach me my whole life! I wouldn't even be here if I had just done my goddamn chores.

Found a Place On a Farm, Probably

So I'm off tomorrow to a farm! Will I be out of touch? I don't know! I doubt it. I got in touch with them via email, so I would be surprised if there's no internet. Anyway, wish me luck!

Rabbi Crazy and the Prince Philosopher

So I had a good chat with my previously mentioned Tel Aviv hostel crazy, and it turns out he's ALSO from Florida, like the Granada hostel crazy. Is it something in the water? He calls himself Rabbi something, I can never catch exactly what he's saying. We'll just call him Rabbi Crazy. He usually goes out in an old Israeli army uniform and pink sunglasses. He told me he spends his days out on the beach, picking up trash and holding it up to God to show him how the people are misusing his Holy Land. This particular day he also decided to do a little ballet, and a passing man told his son "that right there's a freak." He told the man he shouldn't go around calling people freaks, because you never know what they're capable of. Our conversation:

Me: That sounds like a threat.
RC: It was. I could do terrible things to him with prayer.
Me: Is prayer the way you exact your vengeace? (this man inspires dramatic language)
RC: It's one of two.
Me: What's the other?
RC: I'll tell you tomorrow.
Me: What if I don't see you tomorrow?
RC: You won't, that's why I said that.

Thankfully the crazy gleam in his eye wasn't particularly murderous, or I might have been up all night. Consequently, I did see him in the morning, but I didn't follow up.

Last night I ditched the hostel for a CouchSurfing.com host, a great guy named Ahava. The name means "love" in Hebrew, it's not his given name. He is something of an amateur philosopher. Over a drink he talked at length about the soul, the mind, the body, how the three interact and interact. In his view we're all splinters of God. God was a perfect being who wasn't actually perfect because he was all there was (alpha and omega and all that) and therefore there was nothing to compare him to to confirm he was perfect. As Ahava says "A race with only one car on the track has no winner." So he split himself up into all of our little souls, and we all live out a part of the complete picture, through many lifetimes and bodies and minds. One lifetime we may learn generosity, another we may learn what it is to be needy and depend on the generosity of others. Eventually our souls learn all of these earthly lessons and then transcend to something else.

When we got back to his apartment, he put on Purple Rain for me to watch and everything became clear.